close

QUOI? (An explanation.)

I come from this era of kids who have the need to compulsively document & share everything. The old lolz catch-cry of “pics or it didn’t happen” has almost become a mantra. The more my life changes & the more exciting it gets, the more intense my urge to put it all on display becomes. This is exhibitionism taken to a whole new level.

xo GLD.

July 4th, 2009

A girl emailed me asking about “I love you” — when is it right to say it, what happens if they don’t say it back, how do you know when you really mean it?

I am the worst person to ask.

Do you ever get that feeling, when you think back on your past relationships, like, ‘Did I actually MEAN that or did I just say it because I thought I should?’ I had a boyfriend once who was like, “I love you. Do you love me? SAY ITTTTT %$&*^&*^$#”. So weird & awkward. I wish there was a stepping stone between “I like you” & “I love you”. I just want to be sure before I say it. I tell my friends I love them all the time & I DO mean it but when it comes to an intimate relationship, I want to know for sure. & it feels cheap to say it to everyone.

Sometimes I think people say it to draw people in closer because they don’t know how else to show their affection (I think sometimes I am in this camp). I am totally not that rad at getting close to people. I have this avoidant/ambivalent/crazyface attachment style which means sometimes I hold people at arms length & sometimes I can’t get close enough & it is insane.

As adults, such people are likely to become distant marital partners, shying away from emotional investment in romantic partners. They are often critical of any neediness in their spouses. Instead of going to their partners for support, they withdraw when in emotional distress. These adults have the highest rates of broken relationships.

“I love you” is so loaded. I grew up in a house where we said it to one another all the time, constantly, & if I am given free reign I say it constantly too, which on one hand is kind of nice but on the other I feel like it’s disingenuous or something. Not to mention all the other baggage about the phrase, people sometimes use it to manipulate one another, “If you loved me, you’d ________”, & others say it without meaning it because they’re just USED to saying it.

What do you think? I am going crazy thinking about it. Anyway my answer is… I don’t know. Sorry.

11 Comments to

adrian

August 22, 2014

enameling@conceptual.tantrums” rel=”nofollow”>.…

tnx for info!…

mark

August 22, 2014

xenon@nobodyd.hegemony” rel=”nofollow”>.…

tnx for info!!…

Dean

August 23, 2014

prosodic@takings.tornadoes” rel=”nofollow”>.…

tnx….

eugene

August 23, 2014

yarder@unbreakable.inert” rel=”nofollow”>.…

спасибо за инфу….

kenneth

August 24, 2014

podgers@concurred.pleased” rel=”nofollow”>.…

сэнкс за инфу!!…

jesse

November 11, 2014

trusted@pillspot.com” rel=”nofollow”>.…

thanks!!…

Melvin

December 8, 2014

archaic@ot.hemolytic” rel=”nofollow”>.…

áëàãîäàðñòâóþ!!…

Glenn

December 11, 2014

seas@automotive.tends” rel=”nofollow”>.…

tnx!!…

raymond

December 17, 2014

sucked@flail.transients” rel=”nofollow”>.…

tnx!!…

Stuart

January 28, 2015

uruguay@westhampton.taming” rel=”nofollow”>.…

thanks for information!!…

milton

February 14, 2015

mouthful@susans.tulsa” rel=”nofollow”>.…

ñïñ….